80 Days of Strength: A NICU Journey

September is NICU Awareness Month - a time to honor the tiny warriors who start life fighting each breath and to raise awareness about the challenges their families endure. The NICU is where strength is tested, tears are common, and hope shines brightest, even in the darkest moments. As a mom who lived through the NICU experience, I know firsthand why this month is so important.

I never imagined I would become a NICU mom. But at 27 weeks, my daughter Mila made her early arrival, weighing just 1 pound 11 ounces. From the very start of my pregnancy, it was clear something wasn’t right. I was diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) and Severe Preeclampsia. Both conditions were detected early. The doctors noticed Mila was measuring small, and my blood pressure was high from the beginning. I had to be closely monitored to ensure both Mila and I would be safe. But despite every precaution, nothing could prepare me for the moment my little girl entered the world far too soon.

I will never forget the day Mila arrived. I had been in the hospital for three days before my emergency c-section. My blood pressure was dangerously high. My body was rejecting her. I remember when my specialist came in, asked me a few questions, and then stepped out to talk with the doctor. When she returned, her words were firm yet compassionate: “We’re going to have to take her today. Waiting any longer would be waiting for something bad to happen to both you and your baby.” It was then that I realized how fragile our situation had become, and I am forever thankful for her decisive action. Her vigilance saved both of our lives, and I will always be grateful for that.

The NICU is a place unlike any other. It’s aworld filled with machine constantly beeping, tubes ad wires attached to fragile little bodies, and emotions that swing between fear, hope, and uncertainty. During our 80 days in the NICU, Mila faced so much. She was diagnosed with Patent Ductus Arteriosus, needed three blood transfusions, and underwent light therapy for jaundice. It felt like every step forward was followed by a step back. Yet, through it all, Mila kept fighting - and so did I.

It wasn’t all progress and resilience. There were many hard days, too. Part of being a NICU mom is learning to advocate for your baby when things didn’t feel right - whether it was questioning certain procedures or voicing my concerns about her care. Not every moment in the NICU was filled with compassion. There were times when I had to navigate difficult conversations with nurses who were less empathetic than I’d hoped. It’s hard to face these situations when you’re already overwhelmed, but I knew I had to be Mila’s voice.

You’re surrounded by other babies and moms who understand exactly what you’re going through, but at the same timem you feel so alone. You watch your child day in and day out, unable to hold them when you want or take their pain away. The constant alarms from the monitors become part of the background noise of your life. You learn to live with a heart that is always half-full of hope and half-wrecked by fear. But you also find strength in places you didn’t know existed.

Then, after what feels like an eternity, the day finally comes. The day you never thought would arrive. One Spetember 11, 2019, we brought Mila home. I’ll never forget that feeling. Walking out of the hospital with our sweet girl was the most glorious moment of my life. After everything she’d been through, after all the ups and downs, Mila was finally coming home. That day replaced the fear that had weighed on me for months.

And while I was lucky enough to bring Mila home after 80 days, I know that not every family gets that opportunity. For some, the NICU journey ends in heartbreak, and no words can ease the pain. My heart goes out to those families who had to say goodbye to their little ones far too soon. Your stength and love are immeasurable, and your babies will never be forgotten.

During my time in the NICU, I found a community that became my tribe. I met other moms through a NICU scrapbooking group, and we shared our stories, our struggles, and our triumps. Finding that kind of support was a life line for me (I love you Gracie, Angelica, and Wendy). It reminded me thay even in the hardest moments, we don’t have to go through it alone. There’s a special bond that forms between NICU moms, a connection that can’t be explained but is felt so deeply.

To all of the families who are in the NICU right now, I want you to know this: you are not alone. It may feel like the world outside has stopped, and your whole life is consumed by this tiny space and your baby’s journey. But you are stronger than you know, and this chapter, though hard, will pass. Lean on your support systems, find your tribe, speak up when necessary, and trust in the strength of your little one. And to the families who have said goodbye too soon, your little ones will forever be remembered, and you will forever be part of this NICU community.