The Challenge of Reopening Your Heart & Finding Freedom
Forgiveness.
It’s a word that holds so much weight yet feels so elusive. For the past few weeks, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it (for reasons I won’t get into, of course). Forgiveness isn’t just a decision. It’s a journey. A messy, emotional, and deeply personal journey. Even when you want to forgive, the pain of the wound lingers, whispering reminders of the hurt you’ve endured. And the thought of reopening your heart? That feels like inviting hurt all over again.
Sometimes, staying guarded feels like the safer choice. You tell yourself it’s protection. You think, If I don’t let anyone in, they can’t hurt me again. But what I’ve come to realize is that staying guarded isn’t freedom. It’s a prison. A self-imposed wall that keeps the hurt out but also blocks joy, connection, and healing from finding their way in. For me, forgiveness is not about pretending the pain didn’t happen or letting someone off the hook for their actions. It’s about releasing the hold that pain has on me. It’s about loosening the grip of resentment and bitterness so I can breathe again. Forgiveness is about reclaiming my peace.
When someone has hurt you deeply, reopening your heart can feel impossible. You start to question, What if they hurt me again? What if I let my guard down, and they take advantage of my vulnerability? These are valid fears, and I’ve wrestled with them myself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you immediately trust again, and it doesn’t mean you open yourself up to the same situations or people that caused harm. It means you allow yourself to move forward, not for their sake, but for your own. Reopening your heart is a slow process. It’s a choice to believe in love and connection despite the risks. It’s choosing hope over fear, even when fear feels safer.
Freedom through forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s not about erasing what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. It’s about choosing not to let that pain define your present or future. Forgiveness gives you back control. It says I won’t let this wound dictate how I live my life. Real freedom means giving yourself permission to heal. It’s letting go of the anger, the bitterness, and the weight that keeps you tied to the past. Freedom doesn’t mean the pain disappears overnight. It’s a gradual lightening of the load you’ve been carrying. And in that lightness, you begin to find yourself again. Forgiveness is a process. Some days, you might feel ready to let go. On other days, the hurt feels too big to move past. Both are okay. Progress isn’t linear. What matters is that you keep trying - one moment, one decision, one step at a time.
As I’ve reflected on forgiveness in my own life, I’ve realized that it’s about more than just mending relationships with others. It’s about mending the relationship I have with myself. I forgive myself for the moments I held onto resentment, the time I let fear dictate my actions, and the time I wasn’t ready to let go.
If you’re struggling with forgiveness, I want you to know this - you don’t have to rush. Take your time. Feel the feelings. And when you’re ready, choose freedom… not because they deserve it, but because YOU do.